Monday, July 26, 2010

Episode Six--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Good evening, Children of the Night!

...And now for something completely different...

It's...Monty Python on the rack! Yes, this week we discuss the funniest movie ever made--Monty Python and The Holy Grail! This special feature-length audio commentary was recorded on the fly. I have seen this film, in all its perverse glory, many times. My co-pilot this week, Dillon, is not as familiar with the material, but brought his expertise in stage combat and acting to the table (is there a difference between the two? Seriously?)

I once had the pleasure of seeing Terry Jones discuss this film in person at San Francisco's historic Castro Theater. This event, and this episode, prove that a often-revisited classic still has some secrets to give up. While I was unable to record Jones presentation of the film, I do have some trivia to reiterate from that evening.

Some Holy Grail Trivia
1. Graham Chapman experienced delirium tremes while filming the Bridge of Death sequence.
2. The Holy Handgranade is actually "The Sphere," a piece of the royal regalia, used in British coronation ceremonies.
3. Terry Jones armor was really nitted yarn, infused with metallic thread
4. Watery tarts in lakes really do distribute swords (how do you think I got mine?)
5. Audience members were initially shocked at the comical violence in the Black Knight duel scenes. It wasn't until Arthur lopped off the Black Knight's legs that people began to relax and laugh.

This is one of the few times that podcast will take a detour from horror and sci-fi, though this film does have elements of the sword and sorcery genre.

God be Praised!

As always, your comments are welcome.

You can listen to the auditory carnage here (complete with wicked, bad, naughty Zoot and her virgin retinue). You can also download us from


Join us, for this (Tim The) Enchanted evening!

Now, get on with it! Listen to the show!

Here is a link to an article on "Kensington Gore," Brit-slang for movie blood.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Episode Five--EXORCISMS!

Good evening, children of the night!

This week, we have a fully loaded episode. The Dungeon takes on EXORCISM--The Final Spiritual Frontier. We boldly go where only father Marrin and Father Karras had been before. The power of Christ compelled me to write and record this episode. It was the only way to exorcise the demons...hallelujah!

I discuss the historical background of exorcisms, and their impact of the current state of psychology. While this is by no means an exhaustive essay on the topic, it does offer well researched info. This is a good starting point for another broad topic that requires furthur research (just like vampire deserves a second bite).

This Week in Strange segment covers a possible ghost photo of author Washington Irving (Ichabod...Inchabod...Ichabod). The article and video that inspired this topic is linked here. While I am skeptical of the article's findings, it is still a fascinating topic.

To lighten the mood, there's a bit of humor courtesy of The Onion. It makes me hungry for Count Chocula (a future topic for this show).,648/

Listener feedback is also read. Special thanks to SDaedalus, and her wonderful comments. You can read her blog here:

I'm looking forward to expelling the demons, and moving on to the next show.

I had a devil of a time putting this episode together, and I hope you enjoy it!


As a bonus link: I invite you all to check out Horroretc. Their audio commentary on THE EXORCIST was a welcome coincidence, and was uploaded as I was recording this episode. You can visit them at 

As always, you can listen to the show here, or at our host (where you can download the episodes)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Our New Sponsor: S-Mart!

Hey Children of the Night.

The blog and podcast has a new sponsor--S-Mart! This ad features none other than S-Mart's number one sales associate, Ash Williams! Remember, shop smart--shop S-Mart! They have a whole assortment of chainsaws, boomsticks, and necronomicons.

And don't forget the blue light special this Sunday. They are practically giving away a Deadite dismemberment kit--complete with sawed-off boomstick, shells, miniature flame thrower (a personal favorite), and spare buzzsaw chains.

They also have a whole array of Cthulu toys for the kids! Get The new Lovecraft Joe action playset! It comes complete with H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Mary Shelley, and Robert E. Howard action figures! Join them, on their quest to rid the world of eldritch abominations! We also have a wide selection from the Savage World of Conan--including a reproduction of his famous broadsword, and a range of action figures!

For the teens, they have To Hell with Twilight! by the disembodied spirit of Bram Stoker--channelled by competent spirit mediums. You can also find an array of the latest Goth fashions--including mesh tops, combat boots, and latex dresses for back to school.

And for the parents--Occult Marriage Practices by Bennet T. Cenobite--the "holy" non-biblical love manual. It comes with a free assortment of mini-floggers and handcuffs. 

You'll find it all at S-Mart! Remember, "Shop smart--shop S-Mart!"

In Love and Monsters,
Johnny Zombie!

Coming this week to The Dungeon: EXORCISM!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Special Report: The China UFO Sighting.

Hey Creatures of the Night!

As you may have heard, China has experienced a very dramatic U.F.O. sighting. The event took place on the evening of July 7th, above Xiaoshan airport. Residents reported seeing a strange red disc shape, which hovered near the airport.

Incidents like this are rare in China. My research has shown that only four such incidents have been recorded. The earliest recorded date is 1942, with the next to most recent being 2006. Video of said incident can be seen here, as posted to Google video.

I am of the opinion that this video may very well be a hoax. As for the recent sighting on July 7th, I will let you decide. The images are very compelling, and yet not conclusive. I refer you to ABC for the spectacular images of this recent sighting.

The next episode of The Fly Paper Dungeon will be about exorcisms: ancient and modern. However, an episode about U.F.O.s and Extraterrestrials is forthcoming.

In love and monsters,
Johnny Zombie.

P.S. Keep watching the skies!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Episode Four--Vampire Sex!

Ah, Das Vampyrien Erotika.

I actually don't think that's good German, but then again, who's taking notes? It sounded good to me at the time.

Tonight, I fly solo, and explore the vast topic of vampires as sexual metaphor. Things take a slightly more somber tone in this episode. I read an essay that I wrote about vampires as sexual metaphor, subtitled, The Time I Got Down with My Bad Vamp Self. In the process of reading I disclose a few of my not-so-unusual kinks. This is followed up by a reading of John Frost's short story The Night Visitor.

This is by no means a definitive study of such a vast topic, but it is a good starting place for those interested in the topic.

I also discuss the upcoming solar eclipse, only viewable from Easter Island (where everybody is stoned or plastered...literally). Plus, This Week in Strange covers a surprising story about Roy Rogers...and his late, great, sidkick--Trigger!

As always, your feedback is most welcome. You can listen to this week's episode on the page here, or download at (just click the title of this week's episode to be taken there).

Join me, children of the night, for an orgy of BLOOD!

As an added bonus, I've included a link to a video of Christopher Lee performing opera in 1970!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

An Orgy of Blood--Coming Soon!

Greetings, Children of the Night!

Your humble host is planning an episode of devilish delights. The subject matter will tease, taught, tantilize, and titilate your senses. In other words...VAMPIRE SEX! To be more specific, the next episode of Fly Paper Dungeon will explore vampires as a sexual metaphor. They possess a duality as creatures of the undead--who must feed on the living to survive, while they also crave other earthly delights. They are creatures of passion, who are the Id personified (paging Dr. Freud).

In addition to the sexual nature of vamps, their place in mythology will be discussed as well. This episode will also include an essay by author John Frost, and the introductory chapter to his work-in-progress novel--The Night Visitor.

This episode is forth-coming, and should be ready by Monday if not by the weekend.

I look forward to comments, feedback, and your general enjoyment of this more scholarly take on the vampire mythos.

In love and monsters,

Johnny Zombie

Till then...I leave you with video of my favorite vamp vixen, Deborah Ann Woll. Deborah plays Jessica Hamby on HBO's True Blood. Just click the link below.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hungry Like the Ginger Wolf

I performed a yearly ritual a little early last night. I watched my favorite werewolf movie Ginger Snaps. Normally, I wait until October, and then bring on the lycanthropy. Just as I watch Alien every summer, and The English Patient every winter (non-horror--unless you include Count Olmasy's realistic burn make-up), October is reserved for Ginger Fitzgerald--sexiest werewolf, bar-none!

I have to confess that before Ginger Snaps, I considered werewolves to be a minor subgenre. I had seen the original Wolfman, starring Lon Chaney Jr., but hadn't given the subgenre much thought since then. I do like American Werewolf in London (which is available to watch on this month), but it was Ginger that won me over. Vampires will always reign supreme in terms of night creatures for me. Werewolves are a very close second--with a silver bullet.

Ginger Snaps tells the story of two teenage sisters, Ginger and Bridget, two Goths with a distaste for suburban mundanity. After Ginger is attacked by one of the nastiest werewolves on film, she begins to change. To quote elle loup herself, "I can't have a hairy chest, B.--that's fucked!"

As the full moon draws near, the transformation becomes more pronounced. Ginger shifts from angsty teenager, to bloodlusting beast in thirty days (just in time for Halloween). I would say more, but I prefer not to spoil this film for those who haven't caught up with it.

Produced in Canada in 2000, Ginger Snaps was followed by both a sequel and a prequel. All three films star the gorgeous Katherine Isabelle in the title role, and the talented Emily Perkins as Bridget.

Tony of Horror Etc. fame has often asked the question, "Is it wrong to be attracted to a werewolf woman?"

My answer to that is, "If loving Ginger is wrong, I don't want to be right."

her picture goes on the fridge next to Sookie Stackhouse!

I spent a fair amount of time last night doing research on werewolves last (both ficticious and alledged). This is in preparation for a number of projects--not the least of which is an upcoming werewolf episode.

I highly recommend Ginger Snaps for those that like their horror dark, brutal, and without sparkles. Forget team Jacob, I want to be on TEAM GINGER!

Till then...bark at the moon, avoid wolfsbane, and pour me a pint at the Slaughtered Lamb pub.

"...She's that hairy-handed lass, who ran a amok in Baily Downs. Lately, she's been overheard in Kingstown...AhhhWoooooo, werewolves of London, Ontario!"

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Bite Me, Family Man, Bite Me!

I just finished reading Dylan Meconis' hilarious vampire farce Bite Me It recounts a tale of heroism, romance, and bloodsucking amid the French revolution. Spearheaded by Lucien, and the recently sired Claire, they are joined by German werewolf Luther, and feisty vampire Ginevra. They must rescue their fellow vamps, and coven leader, Aulric--before a religious zealot can vanquish them.

The graphic novel was begun by Meconis while still in highschool. It took her nearly four years to write and illustrate. She initially serialized her chapters online as a weekly comic strip, before publishing Bite Me in "Dead Tree" format.

I don't say this lightly. After reading viewing Miss Meconis' website, and reading her first book, I am a devoted fan. Bite Me is destined to become a classic among fans of both comedy and horror genres. Those who are not familiar with the comic book/graphic novel medium will find much to enjoy here as well. Her writing is fresh, highly skilled, and incredibly witty. I wish that more writers had her formidable talent. I am inclined to wonder if Bite Me has been optioned yet for film. It would lend itself perfectly for the screen--with it's Simon Pegg/Nick Frost/Edgar Wright-esque style humor.

Her current graphic novel Family Man details the origin story of Luther Levy, a strong supporting character from Bite Me. It fills in the background on how Luther became a werewolf, and how he came to meet Lucien St. Yves (the vampire hero of Bite Me). While her first book was all out comedy, Family Man takes a darker tone. I've only just begun reading it, and am mightily impressed.

You can read serialized chapters of both her graphic novels, and well as buy dead tree renditions at

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Episode Three--Manos: The Hands of Fate!

A Satanic coven.
A vile henchman.
A couple lost in the desert.
A bevy of scantily clad babes.

Does this sound like the making of a great, or atleast passable, horror flick? Wrong! Manos: The Hands of Fate is one of the worst, if not the worst, movie ever made. Written and directed by fertilizer salesman Harold P. Warren, Manos bombed in its initial release. Few had seen the film, or even knew of its existence, until Mystery Science Theater 3000 plucked it from obscurity. They ridiculed the hell out of it, and thus, gave it new life! Albeit a very sickly-connected-to-life-support kind of life.

Join us as we discuss the worst movie ever made. We explore why it has taken on cult status as we laugh at it, not with it. Also discussed is the recent arrest of super-sexy spy Anna Chapman, Napoleon's hair at auction, and a prehistoric Moby Dick!

You can download us from by clicking the link. Or, you can listen to the auditory madness here.

Feedback is always appreciated. You can contact me through this sight, or email me at

My special thanks to Mr. Dillon for being a brave soul. He endured as much of Manos as is humanly possible.